A New Goal

“I often have to write a hundred pages or more before there’s one paragraph that’s alive.”

-Phillip Roth

This is one of those quotes that I desperately hope is accurate.

I have unfortunately let myself slip some on my writing lately. As long as we are being completely honest, I haven’t written a word since my last post. I often find myself getting quickly discouraged or frustrated with my writing. I will go back and read what I have previously written and feel like it is total garbage. I don’t feel like I am a “good enough” writer. But what is a “good enough” writer, anyway? It is something I think we all have to define for ourselves, and therein lies my problem. I set the standard outrageously high for myself constantly. I have a dream that the first complete novel I have will be a best seller. With a standard like that, I am just setting myself up for failure. Writing is a process and takes time. Nothing that I write will or should be perfect the first time. At least, that is what I try to tell myself.

So, I guess I just need to get back into it, don’t I? The problem is that I keep making excuses. When I started both this blog and my book, I had plenty of free time. I was on vacation, and it seemed like a great idea. I set my standards unrealistically high from the beginning. Rather than setting a word count or page goal for myself, I should have set a goal that I would be able to meet once I had to get back to “real life”. With that being said, I am changing how I approach this beast that is now looming over me. I am going to write for 45 minutes a day. It doesn’t matter what comes out on the page. I doesn’t have to be cohesive or even pretty. As long as I am writing, I am succeeding.

I love to write. I really do. I am simply too much of a perfectionist for my own good. I never seem to get anything accomplished because of that. That is the whole reason I set this goal for myself. My hope is that by the end of this I will feel a sense of freedom within my writing. I will no longer be afraid of failing and will be able to further develop a passion of mine. I will succeed.

Challenges

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit”

-Richard Bach

I have to be honest. I have definitely been slacking off the last few days. I am finding it much more challenging than I anticipated to keep up with work and still find time to write every day. After missing a day, I find it all the more challenging to pick back up again because I know I am behind. I feel like I have to catch up, and it begins to get extremely overwhelming. So, I am making a pledge to myself to not let this defeat me. I am pressing on in my year’s goal.

I legitimately thought that this would not be as difficult of a task as it has turned out to be. I mean, the first few days were so easy. I was writing and felt good about what I had written. Then, I hit a wall. I knew what was coming next but didn’t want to write it. It was personal for me. Something that I had experienced as a child. It is said that people write what they know, and I am no exception. The hard part comes when it is a painful experience. I felt like I had dealt with these things but still am finding it hard to put it on paper. However, I refuse to be defeated. I have done this too many times before. There will always be an excuse. Not this time. This time I will win. By the end of this year, I will call myself a “professional”.

Pressing On

“You fail only if you stop writing”

-Ray Bradbury

I was feeling this quote especially last night. As I am still in the beginnings of my novel, I am clearly still in the planning stages. I am having to force myself to simply sit down and write. If it turns out as crap, fine. I will revise it later. At least, that is what I keep telling myself. But it is undoubtedly hard to do this. I’m a perfectionist and like to have things planned out, so it is in times like these that I struggle. I start with one idea, decide it’s horrible, and will scrap all of it.

So, as I sit here now typing this, I am pressing forward without a plan. I have no idea what my character is going to do next. All I know is how it starts and how it will end. But I guess that’s the beauty of it isn’t it? Writing is like life. You know where you started, and you know eventually that your story will end. The fun comes in the middle. You take things as they come. Make decisions as they present themselves. You don’t have to plan out your entire life, so why should I feel like I have to plan out my character’s entire life? I am choosing to take things as they come in my writing and in my life.

Beginnings

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

-Ernest Hemingway

Since I don’t have a typewriter, I will just start here.

It has been said that possibly the hardest part about writing is just getting started. I have found this to be true now more than ever. As 2014 begins, I have set a goal for myself to finish some significant work of writing. I am the type of person who will start something but never finish. I will have what I feel like is a great idea for a novel or short story but never get past the first few pages. I always give up for one reason or another. Well, not this year. This year I have set the goal of finishing a novel. I have read that the average novel in the demographic that I aim to reach is about 85,000 words. I figure if I can reach my daily goal of 600 words a day, then I can have a first draft finished by summer.

So, this is where the blog comes in. I will also be writing a post on here every few days to both track my progress and to hold myself accountable. Those who are reading this will get insight into me as a person and maybe even some sneak peeks into my book as it begins to take shape. I can’t guarantee at this point that my posts will either be cohesive or have a theme, but my hope is that it will keep you, as the reader, interested enough to come back to read again.